I love my job. But I've decided... when it comes time to quit, there's only one way to do it. I'll go on a work-funded trip. Halfway through the trip and in the middle of the night, I'll call a press conference to resign. This will be the first my boss hears about it. When I get back from my trip, I'll call another press conference, tell everyone my boss sucks at his job, tell everyone that I'm better at his job, that I'm better than the guy that does his job at Hogs Breath and the fate of Ribs and Rumps rests with me. Then I'll ask my colleagues to conduct a secret ballot to remove my boss and slot me into his job. That will totally work. I don't wear glasses, but I do have a round face, I'm arrogant, I talk about myself in the third person lots and I like the odd strip club visit, so if one K. Rudd can do it, so can I. However, before any of that happens, I will complete Bucket List Item #12
For the first time, I'm feeling the pressure of not progressing through the list at a fast enough pace. 8 weeks down means that I am 15% through the available time, and with only one item completed so far, I'm only 7% through the list. The maths aint good. But then, like a ray of sunshine from heaven, my skinny bald headed friend Carl Barron (not Joe Tallarida as many of you were thinking) schedules a new round of gigs. Don't get me wrong, if Joe scheduled gigs I would totally go as well. His "Try the veal" bit never gets old. Anyway, I digress. I've searched Google but I can't find the bucket list that Carl Barron has obviously compiled which at Number 11 has "Meet Scott Hamilton." I know that when the moment arrives for us to meet, the connection will be special. Note: Specialness of connection will be inversely proportionate to the size of Carl's security guards.
I know what you're thinking. About me. No not that. That would be fun though. Keep it clean please... this is a G-rated blog. I know what else you're thinking, "One of the best moments of my year slash life will be personally seeing Scott achieve Bucket List Item #11 - Meet Carl Barron - by joining him at the Gold Coast Convention Centre gig at 8pm on Saturday 26 May." It's an awfully precise thought, but both wise and accurate. So if ya wanna convert your thoughts into action (the second thought, not the first one), look at this link - Carl Barron's "Meet Scott Hamilton" Bucket List item achievement opportunity - and then shoot me a comment here or on Facebook in the next few days and I will co-ordinate a ticket buy. I'm sure some kind of dinner/drink thing will precede the main event. BYO confetti.
More actual progress on the list this week. Part #2 of "The Ref" turned out to be as riveting as Part #1, although Rosy and I elected to stay awake. Otherwise there would have been a Part #3. Then last night we knocked over Caddyshack. Rosy made the observation that Chevy Chase was cute when he was younger. Shame he wasn't funny. When I start to break down these movies by highly precise genre, I can automatically identify funnier movies that the ones on this so-called "Funniest movies of all time" list. Happy Gilmore. Way funnier golfing-related comedy than Caddyshack. American Pie. Way funnier frat house comedy than Animal House. Home Alone. Way funnier B-grade con taking people hostage in their own home movie than The Ref. "Keep the change.... ya filthy animal." Comedy gold (and also potentially a line to be re-used when taking care of Bucket List Item #14).
Until next week...
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Week #7 update
As is often the case, work gets in the way of life... Whether you "live to work" or "work to live" the reality is that most of us have to work at some point. Or join the public service.
This week, we had our work conference with two days and three nights of fun-filled frivolity. I really should have thought this through and adjusted my bucket list accordingly. For example "Beat your liver into submission one glass of red at a time" would have been ticked off. "Dance to Titanium with a 50 year old bikie at the Treasury Casino" also achieved (sadly not for the first time in my life). As far as conferences go, it was a ripper. I even learnt stuff. I was looking forward to outrageously tipping the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre staff for the outstanding food and service at the conference gala dinner. Sadly our table seriously debated ducking across the road to Subway for food... Bucket List Item #14 which at face value seems easy again goes unfulfilled. How do you get a slow roasted rib off the bone both crunchy and chewy at the same time. A rare talent. Gordon Ramsay would have broken the beeping machine.
Come Friday night and the opportunity arose to chip away at Bucket List Item #5 and Bucket List Item #7 concurrently. For Bucket List Item #5, I had methi leaves, as an ingredient in the Methi Malai from Curry Garden. An opportunity to deviate from the usual Indian take-out choices and it was devine. I'll be back for more. 1.2 billion people can't be wrong I guess? For Bucket List Item #7, we tackled "The Ref." I was operating under the assumption that Jerry Bruckheimer's name was not attached to anything bad. But sure, enough, there he is on the dust jacket of this little gem. Was it horrible? To be confirmed - we only lasted about 45mins before falling asleep. It's been a little while since I finished law-school, but I'm pretty sure "A furiously funny film you don't want to miss" could constitute misleading and deceptive conduct. Time will tell if we manage to stay awake for the next instalment.
Some early birthday gifts received on Sunday night from my in-laws (parent, sisters, brother - all in-law varieties) both helped and hindered my list. A very thoughtful cash donation to put towards Bucket List Item #10 - conquering the Sydney Skywalk was counter-balanced with another book added to my bedside table (Bucket List Item #1). Although the book lists 1000 cool things to do with kids in Australia, so could assist with Bucket List Items #6, so I'm calling this gift "Bucket list neutral." I haven't read the book yet (surprisingly), but I suspect that "strap the kids in for a 22 hour round trip to Eulo" is probably not included in the book. Guess next year's re-print will have 1001 cool things.
Until next week...
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Week #6 Update
Slow week in Bucket List land this week.
A special thanks to Paola Tanner for the book "5" which I finally read after only a few years of sitting on the bedside table (the book, not me), thus continuing to chip away at Bucket List Item #1. I've concluded two main things. First, that living your best life is not really that hard - you just need to figure out what you want, document how to get there and then stick to the plan. Second, that self help book authors are not real writers... just masters of the Captain Obvious game.
Interestingly, I'm so pleased with the process and progress, I've already started thinking about next year's bucket list. What didn't make the list this year that should have? Any ideas guys and gals? For starters, I'll be creating my own "Top 20 comedy movies" list and then watching them - Saturday night I took in the hilarious Naked Gun 2 which was funnier than anything I'd seen so far on the so-called Top 20 Comedy Movies list. Yet its not on the list. Hmmmm.
Carl Barron is makin' it hard for me (Bucket List Item #11). C'mon mate. He's just updated his tour schedule and has finally scheduled some dates outside of Sydney. Wollongong and Canberra. Not even the lure of Carl Barron could get me voluntarily to either of those places. Aim further North my friend.
Until next week...
A special thanks to Paola Tanner for the book "5" which I finally read after only a few years of sitting on the bedside table (the book, not me), thus continuing to chip away at Bucket List Item #1. I've concluded two main things. First, that living your best life is not really that hard - you just need to figure out what you want, document how to get there and then stick to the plan. Second, that self help book authors are not real writers... just masters of the Captain Obvious game.
Interestingly, I'm so pleased with the process and progress, I've already started thinking about next year's bucket list. What didn't make the list this year that should have? Any ideas guys and gals? For starters, I'll be creating my own "Top 20 comedy movies" list and then watching them - Saturday night I took in the hilarious Naked Gun 2 which was funnier than anything I'd seen so far on the so-called Top 20 Comedy Movies list. Yet its not on the list. Hmmmm.
Carl Barron is makin' it hard for me (Bucket List Item #11). C'mon mate. He's just updated his tour schedule and has finally scheduled some dates outside of Sydney. Wollongong and Canberra. Not even the lure of Carl Barron could get me voluntarily to either of those places. Aim further North my friend.
Until next week...
Monday, February 6, 2012
Week #5 Update
It's time to get all serious. Well... As serious as this little blog's gunna get. A few things happened this week that made me realise I'm not alone in my Bucket List journey... and that my journey means different things for different people.
First, a stranger from across the interweb reached out - Melanie Bowen contributes to a support blog for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance and believes that people maintain a much more positive outlook when committing their plans to paper and documenting the journey. Melanie asked that I post a link to her blog within my blog and at first, I declined the invitation - see my blog is about commitment to maintaining work/life balance, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and ensuring I keep doing something new. My blog (while important) is far more trivial than the issues Melanie is confronting. But you know what... my process is at it's heart about becoming a better person. So with that in mind, I've reconsidered. I urge you to click here to learn more about the great work that Melanie and countless other contributors do: Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance
Next I had a chance to drink beers with the chicky who gave me this idea in the first place. At the risk of exceeding my weekly shout-out quota, here is a link to the Kelly Stokes "30 things before I'm 30" blog. Check out her progress here: Kelly's ripper blog. Our conversation on the matter was actually pretty simple. "Are you lovin it?" "I'm lovin it!" "Are you lovin it" "I'm lovin it" Probably just as well as at this stage I was seven beers down and was sizing up the bartender as a slimmer, more personable and slightly hotter version of Zac Gallifinakis. Don't try googling that because I know damn well I spelled his name wrong. Just think Fat Jesus from the Hangover. Or in this case, Slim Jesus.
Then last night I had a ripper night with some of the ole' Red Rooster crowd and was informed that many are stalking my progress from afar and really enjoying the read. Siobhan told me she wasn't - she couldn't give a stuff and several other slanderous comments which I tuned out - much like most conversations previously had with Siobhan that descended into slanderous comments. Avoiding my blog is the online equivalent of not turning up to my conference presentations. I'm pretty sure she won't be able to resist having sneaky look though. She's only human.
Okily dokily. How have we gone on the progressometer this week?
The taste of 800 squash wins is tantalisingly close, like John Daly's sobriety, with the 700 mark crossed this week. 703 to be precise (Bucket List Item #3). Eulo is also tantalisingly close. (Bucket List Item #8) We just need to determine whether we will go by car or boat with Eulo currently underwater like much of the rest of Western Queensland. We tackled a 5+ hour drive through the Gold Coast hinterland with a short stop-off at "Natural Bridge" All the paths, ashphalt, ropes and such left me wondering how natural the bridge actually was though... Then on to Southport for a swim and home. Kids loved the drive and we are now foolishly lulling ourselves into a false sense of security that this roadtrip will be a walk in the park.
Interestingly, after a flood of initial commentary, only one person so far is brave enough to take on the Ribs and Rumps Meat Your Match Challenge with me (Craig) and one spectator (Angela). I'm also unconvinced that these people are all about the challenge - I reckon anything involving cows would get Craig to put his hand up and anything involving me looking stupid will attract Angela's interest. If you are also a fan of cows or me looking stupid... it's not too late... let me know!
Until next week...
First, a stranger from across the interweb reached out - Melanie Bowen contributes to a support blog for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance and believes that people maintain a much more positive outlook when committing their plans to paper and documenting the journey. Melanie asked that I post a link to her blog within my blog and at first, I declined the invitation - see my blog is about commitment to maintaining work/life balance, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and ensuring I keep doing something new. My blog (while important) is far more trivial than the issues Melanie is confronting. But you know what... my process is at it's heart about becoming a better person. So with that in mind, I've reconsidered. I urge you to click here to learn more about the great work that Melanie and countless other contributors do: Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance
Next I had a chance to drink beers with the chicky who gave me this idea in the first place. At the risk of exceeding my weekly shout-out quota, here is a link to the Kelly Stokes "30 things before I'm 30" blog. Check out her progress here: Kelly's ripper blog. Our conversation on the matter was actually pretty simple. "Are you lovin it?" "I'm lovin it!" "Are you lovin it" "I'm lovin it" Probably just as well as at this stage I was seven beers down and was sizing up the bartender as a slimmer, more personable and slightly hotter version of Zac Gallifinakis. Don't try googling that because I know damn well I spelled his name wrong. Just think Fat Jesus from the Hangover. Or in this case, Slim Jesus.
Then last night I had a ripper night with some of the ole' Red Rooster crowd and was informed that many are stalking my progress from afar and really enjoying the read. Siobhan told me she wasn't - she couldn't give a stuff and several other slanderous comments which I tuned out - much like most conversations previously had with Siobhan that descended into slanderous comments. Avoiding my blog is the online equivalent of not turning up to my conference presentations. I'm pretty sure she won't be able to resist having sneaky look though. She's only human.
Okily dokily. How have we gone on the progressometer this week?
The taste of 800 squash wins is tantalisingly close, like John Daly's sobriety, with the 700 mark crossed this week. 703 to be precise (Bucket List Item #3). Eulo is also tantalisingly close. (Bucket List Item #8) We just need to determine whether we will go by car or boat with Eulo currently underwater like much of the rest of Western Queensland. We tackled a 5+ hour drive through the Gold Coast hinterland with a short stop-off at "Natural Bridge" All the paths, ashphalt, ropes and such left me wondering how natural the bridge actually was though... Then on to Southport for a swim and home. Kids loved the drive and we are now foolishly lulling ourselves into a false sense of security that this roadtrip will be a walk in the park.
Interestingly, after a flood of initial commentary, only one person so far is brave enough to take on the Ribs and Rumps Meat Your Match Challenge with me (Craig) and one spectator (Angela). I'm also unconvinced that these people are all about the challenge - I reckon anything involving cows would get Craig to put his hand up and anything involving me looking stupid will attract Angela's interest. If you are also a fan of cows or me looking stupid... it's not too late... let me know!
Until next week...
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