Week #22 & Week #23 Update

If you have ever wondered what the abence of any stable political rule would be like - complete anarchy - then strap yourself into a five year old's birthday party. Seventeen hyped, Pop-Topped, candied, chocolated and trampolined midgets shaking the very foundations of your house until breaking point. And that was just the first five minutes. Robbie Williams was doing it for the kids. Let's be honest though. If Kylie Minogue walked up to you in gold hotpants and asked you to do something, you'd pretty much do it.

My bucket list progressed in a few areas over the last fortnight - a couple of books covered off (Bucket List Item #1). A few more squash wins (Bucket List Item #3). But ultimately, this week was all about Alex. My little boy turned five and all efforts were focused on making sure he had a truly memorable birthday. And I think we nailed it. Unlike Grant Hackett, I didn't need to turn a grand piano upside down to leave a lasting memory. C'mon Uncle Toby's - I could totally step in to his endorsement deal. Aside from the gulf in physical fitness between the two of us, I would generally cap my lunch wine consumption at four bottles.

Anways, back to Alex's birthday celebration. It was a three part affair. Part one was Tuesday. Alex's actual birthday. Not only was I in the same State this year, but also in the same house. Eating both breakfast and dinner together was a rare treat. Cake, presents, decorations and plenty of smiles. The perfect birthday combination.

Part 2 was the the main event, from a logistics perspective anyway. A two hour and thirty minute tornado that whipped through The Gap, leaving a trail of popped balloons, empty jelly shots, discarded bottles and enough junk food to burst The Biggest Loser set. Not unlike Schoolies from what I remember, but with less Baileys. Alex's Mad Scientist 5th birthday spectacular was on. All his friends from school, several parents in tow and an afternoon of fun that won't soon be forgotten. Just when the kids had settled into the groove of trampolining, bike riding, ball kicking (not mine for once) and general partying, the entertainers arrived. Kids donned lab coats and saftey glasses for the making of slime (apologies to those parents that dressed their kids in the good clothes!), lava lamps and not surprisingly - the one that got the kids excited - the exploding bottle of random coloured stuff. Then a slice of cake, takeaway bags jammed with more sugary goodness and the party was offically over. Photos and videos galore taken of course, but here's a selection.

Then, the low key Part 3 - family afternoon tea for some more birthday presents, party food and fun. Nobody told Alex to be low key though. So much excitement for one human being to handle, but suffice to say, Bucket List Item #6 is now 50% complete. And I think I had more fun than he did!

Until next fortnight...

Week #19 & Week #20 & Week #21 Update

Time flies. Sat down to tap out my fortnightly update, only to figure out that three weeks have in fact passed since my last blog update. This is a problem. See... it's Week #21. My last count suggests that there are only 52 weeks in a year. I've completed one bucket list item. I have 14 to go. I'm no Wayne Swann, but I seriously doubt my ability to deliver a budget surplus.

There's been progress mind you and, unlike the NSW Rugby League Team, I get a feeling the next few weeks will deliver some wins. Bucket List Item #3 is becoming tantalisingly close - 768 wins on the board and more court time tomorrow. Insert flexing of pectorals here. Alex's birthday bonanza will unfold over the next fortnight and all being well, Bucket List Item #6 will be 50% complete. A couple more books, a few more movies and there's another couple off the list. Easy wins. QLD Rugby League Team knows what I am talking about.

Some others are going to take some effort. Sydney Skywalk for example. I had an unexpected four hour window on my last Sydney trip. Four hours should be plenty of time to drive into Sydney CBD. Park. Go to the Skywalk. Go up the Skywalk. Go down the Skywalk. Drive through traffic from CBD to the Airport. Right? If you answered yes, then I hope you enjoy your first time visiting whenever that may be. Will another suitable window open? Time will tell.

And then there's my mate Carl, aka Bucket List Item #11. Last night my posse and I hit the Gold Coast Convention Centre to see Carl's show. Funny dude. Great show. Highly recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh. See here for more of what I'm talking about. Probably shouldn't have jammed a bunch of ribs into my belly beforehand as I laughed so hard that the guy in front of me nearly wore them a couple of times. He had his best t-shirt on too. So Carl's playing hard to get. Game on champ. Game on.

Until next week/fortnight/word that means group of three weeks together

Week #17 & Week #18 Update

I'm on fire. Although no fancy lines have been struck through any more bucket list items, it's been a big fortnight of chipping away.

Bucket List Item #5 (Try 20 new foods). On fire. Again during a period of so-called "restrictive diet," I have added ox tongue, lotus root chips and black sesame ice-cream to the newly tried foods list. All three I must report were sensational and all tried last Saturday night at Angela's birthday dinner at Wagayu. For those playing at home, Wagayu is loosely translated as "Restaurant in Chinatown with cool touch-screen ordering system and inadequate supply of creme brulee" which is freakishly accurate. The ox tail tasted of caramelised steak and was slightly chewy, but pleasant. Next time I see an ox I will no doubt start salivating at the likely tastiness of his tongue. The lotus root chips were crispy and tasty and the black sesame ice-cream was a sensation - two serves were required. Photos of food eating exploits as follows (with a special video presentation of ox tongue consumption, with a Survivor-style empty mouth show at the end):

Bucket List Item #3 (800+ squash wins). On fire. I moved one step closer, or seven steps closer in fact with the score now sitting at 748-0 and all things being well, next week will see the magic 750 clocked up and the charge to 800 will be well and truly on. To take the pressure off, I'm taking a leaf out of Peter Slipper's book and travelling by limo from home to work, work to lunch, lunch to work, work to squash, squash to Gold Coast, Gold Coast to airport, airport to home. I'll concurrently travel by cab somewhere too. Why not right?

Bucket List Item #6 has started to take shape. With Alex's birthday in June and Bella's birthday in July, options are coming out the razoo. Mind you, while taking a drive yesterday afternoon, we stopped at a random park for 10mins and let the kids run around and that was a memorable hi-light, so nailing Bucket List Item #6 is probably won't be hard. I wonder if they'd cop it on the chin if I inform them that yesterday's park visit was in fact their birthday party? Unlikely.

Attempted progress on Bucket List Item #11. I've emailed Carl Barron to give him the heads-up on the bucket list program and our imminent potential opportunity to meet. He's either busy writing me an excited reply or organising increased security for the Gold Coast gig. He's got nothing to worry about on several fronts. I'm not a psycho for starters. I'm pretty soft so not only would he not need security to take me down, some 48kg random wearing one of those black "Security" t-shirts could probably take me down. Or lure me in a different direction with a choccy donut. Also, unlike Basic Instinct, I'm not writing a story about stalking as an alibi for actual stalking. Although in re-creating the Sharon Stone leg cross scene, 8/10 people believe I pull it off better. Anyway... hit me back Carl. Love your work champ.

Until next fortnight....

Week #15 & #16 Update

Why would you live in Sydney? Seriously. 

Another couple of days in ole Sydney town this week and it was full of hi-lights. Torrential rain... again. Went the closest I've ever gone to missing a flight because of traffic. At 8pm. I wonder what the comments section of Hertz's computer system says against my name now? A screeching halt in their carpark, keys in the ignition and the door still open with an "Over to you" yelled over my shoulder as I sprinted for the Qantas check-in. I am also feeling a little left out that I haven't either shot at someone's house or had my house shot at. I must be the only one. 

The company is always sensational though. A huge thank you to Paola and Nick for putting on a great dinner spread. Ironic in the first fortnight of my most restrictive diet yet that I add two new foods to my never tried this, thus chipping away at Bucket List Item #5. Entrees of Gazpacho (a tomato based chilled vegetable soup) which was refreshing and tasty and Jamon Iberico (a cured ham) which I wanted to wrap around myself like a delicious cocoon now take up positions on the "newly tried" list.

Another great squash week this week takes the game total to 741-0 (Bucket List Item #3). I suspect I was assisted by the 3kg weight loss in the first week of my detox, and interested to see how I go tomorrow night having lost another 1.5kg this week. Also interested to see my weight loss at the end of the 12 weeks period - if I keep up at the current weight loss rate, at the end of the 12 weeks I'll weigh less than I did in Grade 9. Which would be remarkable as I wasn't drinking as much beer back then. 

And it's official - I'm halfway through Bucket List Item #7 - with Beverly Hills Cop ticked off the "Top 20 Comedy Movies of all time" list last night. Seems fair that Eddie Murphy featured in at least one of the Top 20. The hairstyles were funny. The fashion was funny. The plot was funny. Eddie Murphy's laugh was annoying, but overall the movie was entertaining. However, humerousnessesness ranked behind sound track and truck chase in the hi-lights.

A few busy work weeks ahead are likely to inhibit the progress of my list. But slow and steady wins the race. Except if you drive Forumla One cars. 

Until next fortnight...

Week #13 & #14 Update

Ah Easter. A time to take a breath from the hustle bustle of the treadmill of life and re-focus on what is important. Religiously and spiritually if that floats your boat, or just generally if that's how you roll. I'm not fussed. The funny thing about the Bucket List Project is that it was originally designed to supplement the standard New Years resolutions that are oh so boring... be more financially sensible, achieve greater work-life balance, get healthy yawn stretch yawn. Trouble is that the Bucket List has taken the sole focus in the New Years resolutions stakes thusfar.

Mind you, it's not all bad news. Despite the best efforts of the Australian Tax Office (from this point forward referred to as the dirty filthy hoebags - DFHs), there has certainly been much more attention around financial responsibility. Work-life balance has also been brilliant. Nights at home. Weekends at home. Public Holidays at home. The ability to maintain a conversation without having one hand on a Blackberry. Seeing my kids both before and after work rather than neither. Can't complain. The "get healthier" goal is going splendidly if you believe (a) the old adage of "a fat baby is a healthy one" and (b) that I am a baby. Otherwise, it needs some work. As such, tomorrow begins a detox diet that will pit my enormous appetite against my tiny willpower in a David and Goliath battle. If you can no longer mistake my credit card statement for a list of drive-thrus and bottle shops in my area, David's got a chance. This is unfortaunately at odds with Bucket List Item #12 - Complete the Ribs and Rumps Meat Your Match Challenge, but I can only assume that the challenge will be all the more rewarding when completed by someone having just completed a diet of small portions of tasteless food.

Another great squash week. 727-0 is coincidentally both my squash tally at the end of this week and the number of litres of alcohol consumed vs water. David's got his work cut out for him. Some temptations are unavoidable (as Whitney Houston's autopsy this week proved), but in this case I'm referring to the sampling program that I had to undertake for work as part of finalising our imminent beverage list change. This photo probably tells the story, but with more to follow in coming weeks, who knows what will happen.

It's hard to believe on the same Sydney trip that this sampling was undertaken, I finished a book. The really hard, lots of words, no pictures marketing book. I think I'm about half way through the books on my bedside table now (Bucket List Item #1), but to be sure I'll have to remove the dust from the region of my bedside tables where books are currently stored.

In a move that Timmy Kenward would describe as "devestating for my cause," IMDB decided to break the link to Bucket List Item #7. This has forced me to sit down and actively try and remember a group of movies that so far I have been actively trying to forget! But in summary, the so-called "20 Funniest Comedy Movies Of All Time" that I am working my way through are (in no particular order):
(1) Watched so far - Shaun of the Dead, Tommy Boy, Blazing Saddles, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, Animal House, National Lampoon's Vacation, Napolean Dynamite, The Ref, Caddyshack
(2) Still to watch - The Breakfast Club, Fast Times at Ridgemount High, The Hangover, Flying High, Superbad, Bad News Bears, The Benchwarmers, The Blues Brothers, Beverley Hills Cop, Young Frankenstein and Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

I can't believe that I have managed to remember them all which is so fortunate cos' otherwise I might have accidentally had to watch something starring Steve Martin (using the term "starring" more loosely than Matthew Newton uses the term "on the wagon"). To use Timmy's other favourite expression "High five for Jesus." I guess it's seasonally appropriate.

Until next week...

Week #11 & #12 Update

Procastination. It can wait till tomorrow quite frankly. After weeks of threatening, I've booked tickets to Carl Barron tonight. Bucket List Item #11 becomes arguably one step closer. Or does it? The Gold Coast Convention Centre is a big joint. I don't think jumping on someone's shoulders, taking my top off and swaying a cigarette lighter is the best way to get Carl's attention. Maybe I'll be lucky and find on the night that there's only six seats filled. Not unlike the Queensland Labor Party.

Sometimes procrastination comes about because of extenuating circumstances. For example, our trip to Eulo has been put on ice to ensure that the full effects of the recent floods have passed. My progress through my latest book has stalled due to the large number of words and small number of pictures. My date with the Ribs and Rumps Meat Your Match Challenge has been pushed back so that my jeans will not explode and take out half the restaurant.

The train must roll on though. The squash tally now sits at 720. Another contender enters the ring: Theo "The Rook" Papamanolis. It occurred to me that when this streak ends, it will never be repeated. More than seven years in the making, when (not if) it ends, I just can't see it being repeated. So the pressure is on. 800 is tanalisingly close. But so was popularity for Anna Bligh. Yikes.

Until next week...

Week #10 Update

Urgent vs. Important. It's a battle that I deal with at work everyday. Well most days. Well some days. Well the days that the choice is between actual work-related tasks rather than steak vs. ribs. Trouble is that the Urgent vs Important debate more and more is a feature of life outside of work. Everyday I'm shufflin indeed.

Urgent urgent urgent... mow the grass, do the dishes, feed, bathe and clothe children. Preferably mine. Cook dinner, pay bills, check Facebook, check Linkedin, vaccuum, eat, sleep, iron, Words with Friends. All urgent, but is it important? Thank God I don't get the whole hashtag thing. My life would grind to a halt #firstworldproblem. Long term financial planning, unpacking the insurance rubics cube, home renos, superannuation consolidation blah blah blah. All important, but are they a focus. Unlikely.

And in a week where Joseph Kony starred in his own little 30 minute doco, does any of my urgent or important stuff matter in the scheme of the world? I'm not selling poster packs for $225 to help solve my problems, so probably not. Maybe because, as I found out through the wonders of the internet and my darling wife (happy anniversary bub), that people in Australia earning the minimum wage have an income in the Top 5% of the worldwide population.

So then what about the Bucket List - is this urgent or important? Well, I think it's neither and it's both. In the grand scheme of things, 15 wishes on a page of a very fortunate person are irrelevant. But to me it's urgent and important. It adds fun and purpose outside of the daily grind. Everyday I'm not just shuffling, I'm boogeying and busting a move as well.

And it was a slow groove this week. Another couple of pages down of my marketing book. The executive summary from last week still rings true.

Another few games onto the squash tally. Now 708 and counting.

Another movie under the belt. Blazing Saddles! Nothing quite as refreshing as a movie jammed end-to-end with unbelievable political incorrectness. Not unlike Kalibar at 3am Saturday morning which generated the hangover that spawned the decision to sit on my backside all day on Saturday and ultimately then watch Blazing Saddles. One hell of a circle of love. Blazing Saddles was classic Mel Brooks and possibly one of his movies would have to make it into an actual Top 20 funniest list. Certainly if I was 13 then one probably would. But I'm all grown up now. Insert deafening laughter here. That's nine movies down and eleven to go. Almost half way for those that a mathematically challenged.

I've got Carl Barron and a huge hunk of meat on my mind. That is definitely two different and distinct bucket list items. So while there's bigger fish to fry in the tacky fish n chip shop of planet Earth, I'll keep "chipping" away.

Until next week....