Week #34 & #35 Update

Success. A suburb in Perth but also a fair summary of my last fortnight. The bucket list grew two items shorter. I should go to Sydney more often....

Picture it. Sicily 1926. It was a warm Summer's afternoon. Sorry. Golden Girls flashback. The best work Betty White has done (except the Snickers ad). Picture it, Parramatta, 25 August. Despite the lure of the Pink grapefuit Tiros at City Extra, I stroll past and board the train bound for the big bright lights of Sydney CBD. As the train gets closer, my palms get a little clammier and my heart beats a little faster. Is it because I'm bound for the Sydney Tower Skywalk, or because I'm wearing my favourite bright pink Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt on a train in Parramatta? Probably the latter. Fortunately the size is XL rather than XXXXL in the bicep area and XS in the waist. It also has no subwoofers installed. So not worth stealing by anyone in my train carriage.

So I pony up the cash and take the elevotor up to the top of the tower. Get out. Walk around. Check out the view. Not so bad. Then I get ushered over to the holding pen, throw on the sexy blue overalls, a harness and clip myself to the railing. Then my fellow Sydney Skywalk guinea pigs and I hit the outside of the tower. We move across onto the first see-through glass platform, where we are encouraged to jump up and down vigorously. It shakes. Everybody laughs. Scott tries not to urinate. Then around to the other side and onto the second glass panel, that upon push of a button, extends further out over the edge, enabling a clear view to street level through the glass floor. By this stage though, my nerves have completely subsided and I was really drinking in what is a truly amazing view. A full 360 degree look at Sydney and I would highly recommend this to anyone. Beats watching the Shire. Don't feel obliged however to indulge in the horribly overpriced personalised souveneirs. A well oiled machine that, with the addition of an opal shop and a live koala to cuddle, could be the entire Cavill Mall encapsulated in one very high tower. Another sucker coming right up...

Unfortunately I can't figure out how to rotate this photo, which probably means you have a sore neck at the moment from trying to take in the full spectacle. Alternatively you have turned your computer/ipad/mobile device 90 degrees to look at it. Hats off to you if you are using a desktop. Here's an upside down tomato to thank you for your persistence.

With adrenalin still coursing through my body, and before nightfall, I re-take the train back out to Parramatta knowing that the oversized novelty Sydney Skywalk photo won't hi-light me as an obvious tourist. I probably should have put it in my bumbag. Bucket List Item #10 officially ticked off. Check.

Picture it. Parramatta, 26 August. A fine Summer's day where I would take on arguably the biggest physical challenge of my life to date. The Ribs and Rumps Meat Your Match Challenge. For those playing at home, check out the MYM Challenge web link and drive traffic to Ribs and Rumps website. Check it a few times in fact. And share the link with your friends, relatives, acquaintances and those people you're kinda over but want to spam. To prepare for this monumental meal, I only had Main and Dessert (and not entree) the previous night for dinner, skipped both midnight mini-bar snack and breakfast, and "enjoyed" a "brisk" walk alongside the "picturesque" Parramatta River. Two hours of driving later and I find myself at Ribs and Rumps Shellharbour to facilitate the Meat Your Match Challenge for Youth Homelessness charity day, where a bunch of like minded little piggies descended upon Ribs and Rumps to devour copious quantities of animal flesh in the name of charity.

1:30pm rolls around. My designated time at the trough has arrived. Strategies filled my head. Eat it quickly before your stomach realises what's going on. Eat it slowly to allow your stomach to expand. Stuff some in your underwear while people aren't looking and don't forget to remove before the security check at the airport. The meal arrives. It doesn't look that bad. Until I realise, that sitting underneath the gigantic steak is a full rack of ribs and about 500g of chips. Then, methodically, meticulously and another m word, I start chipping away (excuse the pun).

After about an hour of slow and steady eating, I reduce the meal down to approximately a normal size meal. About 400g of steak, a small pile of chips and a couple of ribs. Trouble is I've eaten that already at least once, maybe twice. But like any high performance athlete, I just let the years of intensive training take over and get me to the finish line.

For all those Facebook friends out there that read my blog (both of you). You know how you get cut when people just post pictures of their food. How pissed must you be right now that you've pretty much watched a time lapse of my meal. Anyway, from the above point the strategy was simple. Power to the finish line like the Ugandan marathon guy. Not the two Kenyans. Those guys are soft.

After approximately 90mins of eating "victory" was mine.

And by victory I mean that I lapsed into a food coma for approximately two hours, then had to drive two hours to Sydney, check into the aiport, fly back to Brisbane and drive home approaching midnight in extreme discomfort and fully expecting at any point that my jeans would simply say "Enough is enough. We're demin, but even we are not that strong." Bucket List Item #12 officially ticked off. Check.

So parental units. Aside from my skills in driving too fast and drinking too much, another reason to be proud. Would I recommend the Meat Your Match Challenge? Abolsutely. I work at Ribs and Rumps after all. It costs $84.95 and all those sales make a big difference in me keeping my job. Would I recommend finishing it? Probably not. I've eaten some fairly big meals in my life, but this was easily the largest I've ever attempted. It tastes great until about 3/4 through, then it is just struggle. Of the 51 that took on the challenge with me at Shellharbour, only 25 finished. Check out the full library of photos here (don't be confused - this is the Ribs and Rumps website, not Starshots Glamour Photography). For all those Facebook food commentary haters out there... nom nom nom.

As another blog update draws to a close, it occurs to my that Chris J Guy wanted a shout out. By my recollection, you owe me approximately 980ml of Diet Coke champ. I'm coming to collect.

Until next time...

Week #30, #31, #32 & #33 Update

It's definitely time for action. Settle down Rosy, not that kind of action. The kind of action that will see my Bucket List start to evaporate. I haven't had a lot of luck though. Settle down Rosy, not that kind of luck. I'm talking Bucket List luck.

Take Bucket List Item #11 - Meet Carl Barron. Short and sweet. No not Carl, the Bucket List item. Well Carl is short and sweetish I guess. Settle down Rosy. Not that kind of sweetish. You think of comedians of Carl's vintage that I could of have singled out for a bit of Scotty love. Shaun Mcaliff, Glenn Robbins, Dave Hughes... all would have been valid choices. Maybe not Hughesy as I've met him already. He's awesome. Love your work Hughesy. And then there's Jimeoin. So imagine my surprise when I rock up at a corporate event and he's the MC. Funny dude. Bit of a twat though. Sorry champ. Obligatory photo with a photo bomb from some random.

Oh yer. For the males playing at home, the "corporate event" was the crowing of Chicko Chick 2013. A photo just because it should increase the number of hits to my blog (and to my scrotum from my wife)

Bucket List Item #5 - Try 20 new foods. I've lost count. But I've added Chicken Hearts to the list. So I'm one closer to the total. Guess I'll have to go back and read every single blog update since January. I hope my ribcage can stand the hilarity. Shame my chicken-heart-dishing-outering waiter didn't appreciate my sense of humour. When I ate the heavily garlic-laden chicken, I asked if it had garlic because I was highly allergic to garlic. Then when I had the steak I asked if it contained beef as I was highly allergic to beef. He managed to crack a smile though. Perhaps he was practising for the Department of Immigration.

The weekend just passed was potentially a Bucket List smashing opportunity gone begging. Two relatively free days following what has been a fairly hectic period. BTW the word hectic sounds way better when you're Lebanese. Hec-tic. I managed to mow the lawn, wash and detail the cars, tidy up the garden and tidy the house. Overrated. None of those things are on the Bucket List. Because they are the boring, mundane trappings of suburban life. It's simply solidified my resolve to tackle the Bucket List with gusto.

So tomorrow I set off on another Sydney trek. Who knows what Bucket List items I may be able to tick off. Well I know. But you don't. You can probably guess. You'll probably be wrong. Maybe not. Who knows. Well I know. But you don't. OK, that could get pretty repetitive.

Until next time...

Week #24, #25, #26, #27, #28 & #29

I've been busy. Said no public servant ever. The weekly blog updates became fortnightly and then three weekly and now getting out to once every six weeks. The only person that claimed he would achieve more in six weeks and achieved less is Campbell Newman. Maybe I should rename this my Can-Do Bucket List. Probably not.

But unlike Campbell, Julia and elected representatives et al, I have actually got some runs on the board in the last couple of weeks. And I haven't hooked up with a hairdresser. Or knifed anyone called Kevin.

When I started the year with a 674-0 squash record, I was hopeful that the streak would continue to a glorious 800 games. And two weeks ago that became 804-0 and tonight 812-0. A streak that has stretched nearly eight years, multiple opponents, multiple venues, some close calls and a little luck along the way. Ramon was the lucky one that witnessed the 800th game. This is him sharing the happy moment

This is how he really felt

Bucket List Item #3 officially crossed off. Sweet.

Now onto Bucket List Item #6 - Making the kids' birthdays memorable. After the fanfare of Alex's Mad Scientist party, Bella's was a more low-key but equally memorable affair. It started with Rosy and I decorating her room. Just as we finished around 1am, she woke up, said "I don't want that" and demanded we remove all balloons, streamers and other birthday guff. Killjoy. See below for the obligatory "open presents in PJs" photo, "smiling happily at birthday cake eight times larger than her head" photo and bonus cute video of Bella and the almost-as-adorable robot bunny.

So was Bella's birthday memorable? Well I asked Bella the next day what she liked about her birthday. She told me stuff that matched up. I'm claiming memorable status. Bucket List Item #6 officially crossed off. Sweet.

So as I progressively tick off bucket list items at a rate far slower than I need to - am I learning any earth-shattering life lessons. You know - those life changing, light-bulb moments where your whole reality turns upside down - like the ones you discover during episodes of The Shire or Being Lara Bingle. If I look at the things that have slowed my progress - caring for sick wife and kids, travelling, seeing friends, eating ribs, drinking wine and generally living life, it's not all bad really. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop hunting down Carl Barron. You will be mine Carl. Oh yes. You will be mine.

Until next... you know...

Week #22 & Week #23 Update

If you have ever wondered what the abence of any stable political rule would be like - complete anarchy - then strap yourself into a five year old's birthday party. Seventeen hyped, Pop-Topped, candied, chocolated and trampolined midgets shaking the very foundations of your house until breaking point. And that was just the first five minutes. Robbie Williams was doing it for the kids. Let's be honest though. If Kylie Minogue walked up to you in gold hotpants and asked you to do something, you'd pretty much do it.

My bucket list progressed in a few areas over the last fortnight - a couple of books covered off (Bucket List Item #1). A few more squash wins (Bucket List Item #3). But ultimately, this week was all about Alex. My little boy turned five and all efforts were focused on making sure he had a truly memorable birthday. And I think we nailed it. Unlike Grant Hackett, I didn't need to turn a grand piano upside down to leave a lasting memory. C'mon Uncle Toby's - I could totally step in to his endorsement deal. Aside from the gulf in physical fitness between the two of us, I would generally cap my lunch wine consumption at four bottles.

Anways, back to Alex's birthday celebration. It was a three part affair. Part one was Tuesday. Alex's actual birthday. Not only was I in the same State this year, but also in the same house. Eating both breakfast and dinner together was a rare treat. Cake, presents, decorations and plenty of smiles. The perfect birthday combination.

Part 2 was the the main event, from a logistics perspective anyway. A two hour and thirty minute tornado that whipped through The Gap, leaving a trail of popped balloons, empty jelly shots, discarded bottles and enough junk food to burst The Biggest Loser set. Not unlike Schoolies from what I remember, but with less Baileys. Alex's Mad Scientist 5th birthday spectacular was on. All his friends from school, several parents in tow and an afternoon of fun that won't soon be forgotten. Just when the kids had settled into the groove of trampolining, bike riding, ball kicking (not mine for once) and general partying, the entertainers arrived. Kids donned lab coats and saftey glasses for the making of slime (apologies to those parents that dressed their kids in the good clothes!), lava lamps and not surprisingly - the one that got the kids excited - the exploding bottle of random coloured stuff. Then a slice of cake, takeaway bags jammed with more sugary goodness and the party was offically over. Photos and videos galore taken of course, but here's a selection.

Then, the low key Part 3 - family afternoon tea for some more birthday presents, party food and fun. Nobody told Alex to be low key though. So much excitement for one human being to handle, but suffice to say, Bucket List Item #6 is now 50% complete. And I think I had more fun than he did!

Until next fortnight...

Week #19 & Week #20 & Week #21 Update

Time flies. Sat down to tap out my fortnightly update, only to figure out that three weeks have in fact passed since my last blog update. This is a problem. See... it's Week #21. My last count suggests that there are only 52 weeks in a year. I've completed one bucket list item. I have 14 to go. I'm no Wayne Swann, but I seriously doubt my ability to deliver a budget surplus.

There's been progress mind you and, unlike the NSW Rugby League Team, I get a feeling the next few weeks will deliver some wins. Bucket List Item #3 is becoming tantalisingly close - 768 wins on the board and more court time tomorrow. Insert flexing of pectorals here. Alex's birthday bonanza will unfold over the next fortnight and all being well, Bucket List Item #6 will be 50% complete. A couple more books, a few more movies and there's another couple off the list. Easy wins. QLD Rugby League Team knows what I am talking about.

Some others are going to take some effort. Sydney Skywalk for example. I had an unexpected four hour window on my last Sydney trip. Four hours should be plenty of time to drive into Sydney CBD. Park. Go to the Skywalk. Go up the Skywalk. Go down the Skywalk. Drive through traffic from CBD to the Airport. Right? If you answered yes, then I hope you enjoy your first time visiting whenever that may be. Will another suitable window open? Time will tell.

And then there's my mate Carl, aka Bucket List Item #11. Last night my posse and I hit the Gold Coast Convention Centre to see Carl's show. Funny dude. Great show. Highly recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh. See here for more of what I'm talking about. Probably shouldn't have jammed a bunch of ribs into my belly beforehand as I laughed so hard that the guy in front of me nearly wore them a couple of times. He had his best t-shirt on too. So Carl's playing hard to get. Game on champ. Game on.

Until next week/fortnight/word that means group of three weeks together

Week #17 & Week #18 Update

I'm on fire. Although no fancy lines have been struck through any more bucket list items, it's been a big fortnight of chipping away.

Bucket List Item #5 (Try 20 new foods). On fire. Again during a period of so-called "restrictive diet," I have added ox tongue, lotus root chips and black sesame ice-cream to the newly tried foods list. All three I must report were sensational and all tried last Saturday night at Angela's birthday dinner at Wagayu. For those playing at home, Wagayu is loosely translated as "Restaurant in Chinatown with cool touch-screen ordering system and inadequate supply of creme brulee" which is freakishly accurate. The ox tail tasted of caramelised steak and was slightly chewy, but pleasant. Next time I see an ox I will no doubt start salivating at the likely tastiness of his tongue. The lotus root chips were crispy and tasty and the black sesame ice-cream was a sensation - two serves were required. Photos of food eating exploits as follows (with a special video presentation of ox tongue consumption, with a Survivor-style empty mouth show at the end):

Bucket List Item #3 (800+ squash wins). On fire. I moved one step closer, or seven steps closer in fact with the score now sitting at 748-0 and all things being well, next week will see the magic 750 clocked up and the charge to 800 will be well and truly on. To take the pressure off, I'm taking a leaf out of Peter Slipper's book and travelling by limo from home to work, work to lunch, lunch to work, work to squash, squash to Gold Coast, Gold Coast to airport, airport to home. I'll concurrently travel by cab somewhere too. Why not right?

Bucket List Item #6 has started to take shape. With Alex's birthday in June and Bella's birthday in July, options are coming out the razoo. Mind you, while taking a drive yesterday afternoon, we stopped at a random park for 10mins and let the kids run around and that was a memorable hi-light, so nailing Bucket List Item #6 is probably won't be hard. I wonder if they'd cop it on the chin if I inform them that yesterday's park visit was in fact their birthday party? Unlikely.

Attempted progress on Bucket List Item #11. I've emailed Carl Barron to give him the heads-up on the bucket list program and our imminent potential opportunity to meet. He's either busy writing me an excited reply or organising increased security for the Gold Coast gig. He's got nothing to worry about on several fronts. I'm not a psycho for starters. I'm pretty soft so not only would he not need security to take me down, some 48kg random wearing one of those black "Security" t-shirts could probably take me down. Or lure me in a different direction with a choccy donut. Also, unlike Basic Instinct, I'm not writing a story about stalking as an alibi for actual stalking. Although in re-creating the Sharon Stone leg cross scene, 8/10 people believe I pull it off better. Anyway... hit me back Carl. Love your work champ.

Until next fortnight....

Week #15 & #16 Update

Why would you live in Sydney? Seriously. 

Another couple of days in ole Sydney town this week and it was full of hi-lights. Torrential rain... again. Went the closest I've ever gone to missing a flight because of traffic. At 8pm. I wonder what the comments section of Hertz's computer system says against my name now? A screeching halt in their carpark, keys in the ignition and the door still open with an "Over to you" yelled over my shoulder as I sprinted for the Qantas check-in. I am also feeling a little left out that I haven't either shot at someone's house or had my house shot at. I must be the only one. 

The company is always sensational though. A huge thank you to Paola and Nick for putting on a great dinner spread. Ironic in the first fortnight of my most restrictive diet yet that I add two new foods to my never tried this, thus chipping away at Bucket List Item #5. Entrees of Gazpacho (a tomato based chilled vegetable soup) which was refreshing and tasty and Jamon Iberico (a cured ham) which I wanted to wrap around myself like a delicious cocoon now take up positions on the "newly tried" list.

Another great squash week this week takes the game total to 741-0 (Bucket List Item #3). I suspect I was assisted by the 3kg weight loss in the first week of my detox, and interested to see how I go tomorrow night having lost another 1.5kg this week. Also interested to see my weight loss at the end of the 12 weeks period - if I keep up at the current weight loss rate, at the end of the 12 weeks I'll weigh less than I did in Grade 9. Which would be remarkable as I wasn't drinking as much beer back then. 

And it's official - I'm halfway through Bucket List Item #7 - with Beverly Hills Cop ticked off the "Top 20 Comedy Movies of all time" list last night. Seems fair that Eddie Murphy featured in at least one of the Top 20. The hairstyles were funny. The fashion was funny. The plot was funny. Eddie Murphy's laugh was annoying, but overall the movie was entertaining. However, humerousnessesness ranked behind sound track and truck chase in the hi-lights.

A few busy work weeks ahead are likely to inhibit the progress of my list. But slow and steady wins the race. Except if you drive Forumla One cars. 

Until next fortnight...